It's like a dream come true.

Anyone who knows my littlest guy knows he's a penguin addict. He loves them and has several that he insists join him at bedtime. For Christmas he was asked several times for months what he wanted and his answer was "another penguin lovey". He had three identical plush penguins that he had named, penguin-penguin, Mr. Penguin, and Dr. Penguin. Due to their constant cuddles, squeezes, kisses, and playtimes, they now have distinguishing characteristics and he insists we call them by their correct names.
So of course on Christmas morning, Santa obliged his simple request and he received this big guy who he named all on his own. Meet 'Marshmellow Penguin'.


Of course, he needed to have the comfort of his new friend on Christmas night. Luckily he has since been happy with Marshmellow Penguin sleeping beside the crib.


Well, the St. Louis Zoo had a fabulous treat for Nathan. Last Sunday, we surprised the boys with a trip to the zoo. When we sat down on the ground across from a bear exhibit, Nathan was quite wiggly and asking if we could go see other animals, but he was patient and smiley. Then he got a wonderful surprise!

Tis the season to be weary

The holiday season makes me feel so warm and fuzzy and I love to hear the stories of people who do such selfless things for others. I know that those things happen every day, but around this time of year, I think people do them more and the news and such definitely talks about them more often.

Well, unfortunately, we've also been programmed in today's society to be careful of strangers and always be thinking of our safety. As a parent that is magnified. I am always aware of people around me in parking lots and where my kids are when we are out in public. I still like to use a stroller when we are at the mall only because that means I have one of them kids contained and can easily keep the other one close while I shop. It's just that while there are so many good people, there are too many people yet, that aren't good and we have to be careful.

So here's a couple stories for you:
Last week, I went to run some errands with Nathan, while Carson was at school. I finished at the Walmart and had my cart with Nathan in the front and the basket full of bags and bags. I was at the trunk of my car, shifting around the other things I'd bought that day to make room for all my bags to fit and the man who collects carts came up behind us. He was friendly and talked to Nathan and I some. He had a thick accent and Nathan didn't understand him much, but he was chatting with Nathan nonetheless. I had only begun to put my 20 or so bags into the car and so it was quite awhile before I was ready to go. I was nervous with him being there so close to us. I couldn't help but think, 'he could have taken that vest from the breakroom and not even really work here'. I kept looking around to see where others were in case I needed to scream or run. I asked him to take some of my heavy bags and put them into the passenger seat of the car to have some time with him away from us. Then when I was done, I got Nathan out of the cart and waited for him to take it away. He kept chatting with us about our holiday plans and I finally began to put Nathan into the car, but I left my purse on top of the car because I thought, if he wants to rob me, he can just take my purse and go. I wouldn't strap Nathan in because if this guy was going to steal my car, I wanted to be able to grab Nathan out. It was awful to have those things going through my head while this man was so nicely talking to us and making Nathan laugh by HO HO HOing like Santa. Finally, he took our cart and went and gathered other ones and I quickly fastened Nathan and jumped into the car with the doors locked. I felt awful for being so weary of such a very nice person.

That same night, Greg had taken the boys with him for a quick run to the grocery store for something I'd forgotten. On his way home, he called me and told me that he was in the neighborhood, but that someone was following him and flashing their lights and honking at him. He drove around and around, not coming to our house (as the police say you shouldn't go home if someone is following you). Finally he said he seemed to have lost the person. I told him to head home, but to pull into our neighbor's driveway (he's a big man) and I'd meet them outside. Then he said, the person was back, this time he could finally see the person and see that that it was a woman who was waving at him. He was near the house and other neighbors and he stopped the car. She came up to the car and bless her heart this woman was amazingly sweet. Greg had used the self-checkout at the grocery store and this woman was behind him in line, Greg had gotten cash back, but left it in the machine at the store. This angel of a woman rushed to finish her checkout and saw him leaving the parking lot and followed him all the way from the grocery store to our neighborhood and then around and around as he drove in circles trying to evade this kind follower.

So, while I still say, 'we must be careful', there are such wonderful people in this world and I hope that we can all take time to notice the wonderful people around us this holiday season and every day.

Apple Picking

We went apple picking for the first time a few weeks ago. My sister's family goes every year and so they introduced us to the fun of it.

The boys had a blast! They loved it. We had two different varieties to choose from this time. My favorites; red delicious and some I'd never tried before that were yummy, golden delicious. You are allowed/encouraged to eat all the apples you want while in the field and then you buy ones to bring home. Carson had decided before we got there that he was going to pick 22 apples. I'm not sure where he got that number from, but he was certain and that's exactly how many he picked.

My sweet, little niece, Maeve, taught Nathan how to pick them and helped him to find some he could reach that were good ones. She showed him to twist the apple and pull and he got great at it.


All that picking sure can make you tired. Nathan was enjoying a warm cuddle with Daddy on the wagon ride back out of the orchard. It was a great day for everyone and it will definitely be a family tradition. Maybe even one we will continue with my sister's family. I know they have other crops of fruits at different times of the year as well. I can't wait until strawberry season. I'm sure Nathan will eat his money's worth while in the field.

Little Mr. Attitude!

Today at nap time, I was putting on Nathan's brace. He still likes to do the right insert by himself sometimes, but other times, he's busy talking or singing and I just do it.
As I was strapping the left shoe, he picked up the insert and the pringle to the left shoe. He leaned forward so he was only about 3 inches from my face and held the pringle about an inch from my face and very forcefully waved it at me, while harshly declaring, "I do the pringle, by myself!"
Whoa! Okay, if he was a teenager, I'd have had to hold myself back from smacking that smart mouth right off of him, but since he's only a little two year old, I had to hold myself back from laughing and make myself be firm with him.
Yes, I did take the pringle and talked to him about him being rude and refused to let him do it which of course, caused a fit, but I wasn't about to let him get away with that tone of voice, no matter how adorable it may sound coming from a toddler.
It did get me thinking, I wonder how many times he's seen me hold something up in front of Carson's face like that? Where else would he have gotten that gesture? I'm sure I must have done this when upset with Carson. It's so hard to be a role model when you aren't even aware of all of your own behaviors.

Peace to you, Dr. Ponseti

I am sure a man who worked into his 90's did not simply pass away and decide to 'rest in peace'. So I wish you peace, and love in your everlasting life. I hope you do take some time to simply rest and recognize all the things you have done for so many families around the world.
I am saddened at the loss, but it is a blessing that he lived such a long life and did not linger, suffering. I hope he is watching all his little miracles running along.
My love and prayers for comfort go out to Helena and all of Dr. Ponseti's family and friends.

Read a bit of Dr. Ponseti's amazing story. His story is wonderful beyond his clubfoot treatment.

Praying for Dr. Ponseti

I was heartbroken to read this message posted on the clubfoot message board that I belong to:

This is Dr. Michael Colburn.

I just got off the phone with Helena Ponseti and was informed that Dr. Ponseti has suffered a stroke and is in the hospital. He is paralyzed and cannot speak. The outlook is poor. Helena appreciates all of your thoughts and prayers. He was to speak at the Ponseti conference tomorrow and Helena will be speaking for him. I will post again when I hear any more information.

Dr. Ponseti is the reason my little man runs around the house like a madman every day. He's the reason Nathan can do all that running with no pain at all. Nathan was born with a club foot and Dr. Ignacio Ponseti developed a method of treatment that requires no surgery, and taught his method to other doctors (including Dr. Dobbs who treats Nathan.) Not only does that mean these little babies with clubfoot don't have to suffer the pain of surgery and recovery, the risks of general anestesia, have multiple surgeries as they grow, but it means that he will be able to have a life free from pain.

Nathan is a magnificent jumper and I have no doubt that despite his tiny size (those are 18month sized pants falling off of him) and the lack of athletic ability in both of his parents, he'll be quite an athlete. Shortly after he started walking, he was giving Tigger a run for his money when it came to bouncing.

Our family's prayers go out to Dr. Ponseti and his family.

More of Nathan's clubfoot story can be read in these posts:
Nathan's Clubfoot

A few second video of Nathan in his brace

Me Do! Me Do!

Why not U.S.? Please Read.

I know this may seem trivial to many people out there, but if you have a child with allergies or a child who loves granola bars and is school age, it matters.

Carson is now in preschool and as with almost all schools nowadays, snacks (and sometimes even lunches) brought into the school must be peanut free. I am lucky to not have a child with this allergy, but it is a scary as heck allergy. They are so severe usually that it takes so little to send a child to the hospital and this allergy kills.

We were buying snacks for Carson's preschool and he wanted to buy granola bars, but we can't because there are none on the U.S. market that are peanut safe. Upon researching and looking for a brand that was safe, I found that Quaker has a COMPLETELY peanut and tree nut free facility in Canada (as does Mars candy company). I called Quaker to see if I could purchase those somewhere around me.

Well, guess what? You CAN'T! They are not sold at all in the U.S. Not only was the lady quick to inform me of that, but she was very rude to me about it. When I told her that I would like her to make a report of my call and pass it along so that the company could see that there is a demand in the U.S., she got really huffy with me. Apparently, I was somehow disturbing her busy day of Quaker customer service.

I am asking EVERYONE to PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE for the sake of all the children out there with peanut allergies and also the families affected by school age non-allergic children being limited to call Quaker and request that they offer these safe products here in the U.S.

They answered the phone quickly and it will only take 1-2 minutes. Specifically ask that they make a report of the call or they will just say, 'they aren't available in the U.S. and hang up. Please, think of all the time you are sitting doing nothing or are waiting in line at the drive thru or for many of us, waiting in the car pick-up line at school. Please take these 2 minutes.

They are open from 7-5 central time. Thanks.
1-800-367-6287

When I grow up, I want to be...

A couple of weeks ago, I had an appointment with an ENT. He was young and hilarious. He loves kids and the boys were so good there. He was funny and for a very unknown reason, decided to stick a 8 inch long q-tip into his nose which was ewwww, but kind of cool. Anyhow, when we got home, Carson told Greg that when he grows up, he's going to be a doctor just like Dr. Hobson (who's really Dr. Hanson). That is the FIRST time Carson has ever said he wants to be ______ when he grows up other than to want to be Spiderman or a lion. I thought it was so sweet. I was just ear to ear smiling.

Well, yesterday was his very first time at school (preschool). In fact his first time left alone with anyone but family. He loved it and had a great time. He didn't hesitate at all and actually complained that I was taking too many pictures and he just wanted to go to school. He gladly stepped out of the car and off he went without even a hug. He's only going three days a week. He's disappointed he can't go today so I told him that we were going to see Dr. Hanson today. I reminded him about his wanting to be a doctor like Dr. Hanson when he grows up. He said, very seriously, "But Mommy, I want to be a TEACHER when I grow up".

Oh, can you feel my heart swell? I teared up. Not because I'm a teacher and I like the idea of him following in my footsteps, but because this preschool and his teachers, have given him such a very warm first school experience that he wants to be a teacher. He wants to go to school every day. I know it's just preschool and that as he gets older and has to spend time doing seat work and there's no more toys in the room, that he will likely feel differently. However, I believe there is nothing more important in a child's educational career than the first experience and first teacher. I think that this first year sets the stage for the ' I like school. or I hate school.' feeling.

I asked him when I picked him up if he liked school. He replied with a look of , well duh Mom, "I like school and I LOVE school!" He was really looking at me like, of course I do, it's the best place on Earth, why would you even ask that?

I could not be any more thrilled. I hope that this continues. I know it's only been one day, but my anxiety is squashed and my heart is swollen up with pride for him and admiration for this school program.

By the way, this is a preschool through our public school district.We could never have afforded to send him to preschool. We even checked into part time programs at private centers, and I'd just resigned myself to the fact that he would not have the preschool advantage, but the school district began this program this year. It's very cheap so that we struggling parents can afford it. We still couldn't afford full time, but this is a huge advantage for him and I am so thankful to our school district. He has high quality curriculum, learning through play, certified teachers, a playground indoor and outdoor, a room full of equipment, toys, books, an assistant with a college education and experience, a toddler size bathroom, and a very small class-size. I am so happy we moved here. I am just thrilled (can you tell).

What....

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Parenting Help

Carson is in some sort of awful phase. At least I pray a hundred times a day it's a phase. I hope I'm not a horrible parent whose caused this. I wonder all day if I'm too lenient, too strict, something? He spends his entire day arguing, fighting with Nathan and us. He will hit or grab Nathan's arms and sometimes even do a little soft smack to us. It's hard to be patient with this. I'm trying, really trying. I am so sick and tired.
He keeps getting out of bed. He's running around the house. We are putting him back over and over and not giving him attention by talking at all to him. We just keep putting him back. He's coming right back out over and over and running from us. He's laughing and claiming he's going to lock us in his room and all kinds of crazy stuff. I put him back about 20 times and each time I took a toy from his room. Now Greg is doing it and he's probably about 15 times now.
Is this a phase, his age, my parenting? Is this going to end? How do I deal with this? Any ideas? How do I end this? We do time outs, we take away toys, we let him earn things for good behavior. I don't know what else to do.

Put down your cup so milk doesn't come out your nose while you are laughing at this

Funny Child Moment
Today was my nephew's birthday party. My sister's house has a pool so it was an outdoor pool party. To get to the bathroom you have to go up a big set of stairs and into the house and through the kitchen. So after all but very close family and friends left, the rest of us were around and a little boy was doing the pee pee dance. He of course didn't want to dry off and go up the stairs and such so (and I'm sure some of you will be shaming us all) my uncle showed him to just go to the back side of the pool (it's a big above ground with a deck) and pee outside in the grass. So Carson then says he needs to potty so I told him to go ask Uncle Mike to show he the 'outside potty'. Carson has never even heard of the concept of peeing anywhere but a potty, but he was willing to just go with the idea. So Uncle Mike showed him a spot. Then he proudly came to tell Daddy that he pooped. Oh yes, my son crapped like a dog in my sister's backyard. I'm laughing my butt off just typing that out.

Nathan's balancing act

This boy cracks me up that nothing seems to deter him from doing anything he wants.

Judgement day

I had to drive somewhere today so starting the new meds was put off until tomorrow morning. Prescriptions always say not to drive on them until you know how they affect you so I didn't want to start today.

So.....tomorrow is judgement day. A special shout out to Tammy for calming me down some about trying something new (yet again).

Prayer or cross your fingers or whatever it is you do, please.

one or the other

Yesterday's appointment with the new psychiatrist was just so different that I don't even know how to take it. We were there an hour (not waiting, but with him, talking). He seemed to listen and asked lots of questions. I left there feeling very hopeful and then of course as time has passed, my negative side is creeping in. I've pretty much decided that he's either fantastic or a quack. I don't think there is any in between. So please pray he's on the fantastic end. He asked my family and I to look over a couple of medication options to try and to call him back with what I thought. I will hopefully be starting a new medication on Thursday. I'm nervous after the whole Abilify thing. (Can't remember if I blogged about that.) I just want this to work.

That boy is his own tornado.

Today while I was in the bedroom trying to fold some laundry, Nathan decided to step away from his playtime with Carson and go make a huge mess. He got the huge bag of the guinea pigs bedding and the jumbo bag of timothy hay and spread it all over the floor in the living room, hallway, Carson's room and even Carson's bed. I vacuumed and vacuumed and finally the vacuum broke. It will no longer suck and just blows the stuff all over. So Greg has to take it apart and try to see if it's clogged somewhere or what. The carpet is only somewhat clean.
That boy is so in love with being messy.

Strawberry Peanut Butter M&M's

Seriously? Is anyone else disgusted at this candy idea?

Today is awful

I'm so depressed. This is ridiculous and I can't wait for this new doctor's appointment next Monday. Please God let him be able to help me. I am just getting worse and worse. On my 1-10 scale (5 being normal, 10 being crazy enough to think I could fly or something and 1 being suicidal thoughts), I'm a 1. Scaring myself and I shouldn't have let my mom leave today after their visit to see the boys.

Why can't I be on that other end, at least the 10 sounds kind of fun. (just kidding- sort of)

He shouldn't have noticed

Carson just warmed my heart and made me sad at the same time with the same sentence.

"Mommy, I just saw your smile."

Should a barely 4 year old notice that his mommy smiled and now that it is a rare look?

An example of my brain's babbling

I read an article today that listed 10 things to do in order to improve your sleep. I read these all the time and let me tell you, if you've read one, you've pretty much read them all.

Today's article listed one thing that I've read before, but that always makes me laugh.

'If your mind is racing, write down what's on your mind." Now, I'm assuming that this is supposed to mean that you write things down and then your mind lets you move on and forget about it so you can sleep.

Oh, thus one of the many screwy problems with my mind. This is another opportunity to explain the oddness that is my brain.

This does not work for me (and yes, I have tried). If something is on my mind and I write it down so I can get to bed, my mind does not 'let it go'. It doesn't have to be a worry. Most nights, I'm not really worried about anything. My mind simply wanders.

A little example of my brain's inner workings... say I am thinking about something funny that I saw on TV. It's stuck in my mind, so I get up and write it down, (like all the articles suggest). I crawl back into bed and get comfy and my mind then begins it ridiculous quest.
'Hmmm that was a yellow pen. I wonder where that came from. Why even make a yellow pen? It's hard to read. It is pretty though. I bet I got it in a set with some other colors that I wanted, or maybe it was left on my desk by a student and just became my pen. Remember when 'Johnny' was playing with that gold fish bottle opener/keyring during class and I took it and told him to get it at the end of the day and he never asked for it again and I found it in a bunch of my desk stuff a year later? Why do teens insist on having stuff if they don't even care when they lose it? Kids have too much stuff nowadays. My kids have too much stuff. I think I'll actually be happier when they are older and their stuff costs more, because at least then it's smaller and I won't need so much room to store all their toys and keep them organized. I wonder if Carson's hair will darken or if he'll still be blonde when he's older......

It goes on and on and on. My psych asked me once what I worry about at night. I told her it's not really worries, just weird thoughts and that for instance one night I was up forever trying to think how to spell a word (no I don't remember what word it was). She said, "you should have just gotten up and looked it up and then you could have gone to sleep". HAHA Obviously, she does not suffer from brain babble.

Smart Mouths

When I taught in South Carolina, the orchestra room was next door to my class (well sound-proofed, thank goodness). The orchestra teacher was a much older woman, very tiny and thin with gray hair. She looked like a sweet grandma, but she was darn crazy and hilarious. She was a hoot and her students new that if they worked hard that they could be silly at times and she was okay with that.
She split her days between the middle school and the high school, just like I did.
Well, the high school made a new rule and sent out a memo to the teachers asking them to announce it in all their classes.

The rule: You cannot say "crap" or "sucks" anymore. They were considered foul language.

She announced this to her class and one of her students yelled out, "This crap sucks!"

She replied with, "No, it's this shit blows!"